I'm hungry

Today I stayed within my points and tracked everything. I unknowingly drank 7 points of chocolate almond milk... that was a total waste of 7 points, 7 points that I could use right now because I'm hungry. I don't think this is boredom hunger either. Oh well maybe I'll dig into some of my weekly points.

Pre baby I was the queen of dining out. Post baby I've been cooking a lot more. It's not that I can't cook, it's just that I don't care for cooking much. I just like to eat with none of the work involved. But now that I'm home I'm getting in the habit of cooking 80% of our meals. This is good, because I feel like I have much better control over my my eating and ingredients used (dairy). Hopefully I can keep this up when I go back to work. Work takes a lot out of me. Who knew that Interior Design could break your back and spirit. Fluffing pillows is hard work.

Goals for tomorrow:

Be positive

Eat within my points

Drink more water

Wash the floors

Thankfulness:

Naps with Luca

Not really missing diary

Fruit being zero points

My car

Cuddling on the sofa with Greg after Luca has gone to bed

Good night!

Who eat 60 points worth of food today? This Binger!!

Yeah thats right... I eat 60 points today. 6-0. Mind you I get 43 points a day because I'm breastfeeding which a lot of points, but I had to add another 17. At least I tracked all 60 of my shameful points. Geez.

I return to work the second week in April and I'm dreading it so much. This has been on my mind non stop. Maybe that's why I'm eating so badly. The thought of going back to work is breaking my heart. On one hand I feel super lucky to be able to take as long as I have, but even 6 months doesn't seem long enough. I never in a thousand years thought I would want to be a stay at home mom, but here I am totally wishing I could stay with him. Then to add insult to injury... today I started to think about the fact that I will probably not return to work much skinnier than I am now. That sucks. Not that I thought I was Heidi Klum or anything, but I was at least hoping to go back to work a bit smaller than my pre-pregnancy weight (go ahead Alisa, have another 60 points!).

Goal for tomorrow:

Eat within my points!!!!!!

Enjoy every moment with my son

Drink more water

Thankfulness:

My Mom

Making Luca laugh

Being on maternity leave during the worst winter ever

My BFFs

This club which forces me to be honest with myself

"If peeing in your pants is cool, consider me Miles Davis"

Old Lady in Billy Madison

Sorry, I'm watching Billy Madison as I wrote my blog and I had to add that quote. Good night FTers.

Boring

In my dairy-free adventures I recently found chocolate almond milk. It is YUMMY and not that many points either. Not that I ever drank real chocolate milk before, but if I can find a delish dairy substitute I'm all about it. I really like the regular almond milk too. I think it's my favorite of the milk substitutes, it's not weird tasting at all.

For tomorrow:

Clean my house- btw, I read an article that said that having a dusty house is actually good for babies. Babies that live in moderately dusty homes have less allergies later in life. Well thats good news for me and Luca!

Drink more water

Have Faith

Track

Eat well

Also, I loved Jenna's idea to write down 5 things that you're grateful for. I'd like to do this as well. Thanks Jenna for the inspiration.

1. My husband

2. My son

3. My first born, Eleanor the english bulldog

4. My job

5. My health

Good night ladies!

Enough with the SNOW already!

So no weigh in tonight. UGH. This is the third week in a row that I have not been able to go to WW. I missed the first two because I was in NM and now the snow. Hopefully I'll be able to go to a meeting tomorrow.

About today, I went over my points a smidge. I knew I would and made a conscious decision to make my favorite sandwich and eat not half of it but the whole thing. Whatev. I tracked it, and it costed me quite a few points, but it was worth it.

This going to be another short blog, I'm pretty tired and the boy is going to wake up soon. Good night!

Goals are pretty much the same for tomorrow:

Track

Eat well

Drink water

Have faith

Good Things

Luca went to the doctor today to check on his milk sensitivity... and he doing really well! My dairy free diet has paid off. Hopefully he will outgrow this sensitivity by 9 months, then I think I will bathe in macaroni and cheese while drinking a vanilla milk shake. Oh how I miss you dairy, but I am very happy that Luca's little system is back to normal.

I stayed within my points today with 2 points to spare. I tracked everything I eat as well. Still struggling with finding the time to exercise, but as Luca settles more into a day time nap schedule I think I will have more opportunities.

Drinking more water, for whatever reason I did not get to 8, but at least I feel hydrated.

Tomorrow is WW... dun dun dunnnnnn. I'll let you know the results.

Focus

Last night it was apparent to me that though I'm tracking and trying very hard to stay within my points, I'm not truly following through on my goals. I'm still struggling with worrying about my son. Luca is very healthy and hasn't had any problems since my last dairy slip up in NM. But last night out of no where my mind started to race and before I knew it I was really upset worrying about things large and small. I think I have never loved anyone or anything so much as this tiny boy and the unknown scares me. Getting that upset means I am not even trying to follow through on my original goal of "Having Faith". Maybe all first time mothers feel this way, or maybe not. Maybe I'm completely manic, who knows. But I really need to give up the idea that my son is safe or healthy because of me. I can't control the world around him or anything within his body. I have to believe that as much as I love my son that God loves him even more and can control all of the things I cannot. This is extremely hard for me. But maybe faith just takes practice. So practice I will. I don't want to live in fear of the unknown nor do I want to teach my son that, that is any way to function or live. I don't want him to be afraid of anything.

As for the weight loss goal, I'm not sure how I'm doing on that one. This is third week in a row that I have missed WW meetings. Yesterday I did track and did stay within my points. Tonight I tracked and stayed within my points as well. I am going to wait until next Wed. to weigh in. I guess we'll see.I also need to follow through on my exercise goal. This is major. I need to stop with the excuses and just find the time. It's not going to be easy, but even if I can just work out three times a week. I'm drinking only about half the water that I wanted to and still not taking daily vitamins.

I need to try harder and not partially follow through, but do the best I can at completely following through.

So tomorrow's goals are to focus on:

-Tracking

-Making good eating decisions

-Drinking 8 glasses of water

-Having faith

-Exercising for 30 minutes

-Taking my vitamins

About half of these goals take almost no effort at all and the others will take much more. I'd like to have an honest success to share you ladies tomorrow. Cross your fingers.

Mango sorbet, you bitch.

I went over my points today. I would have actually made my points goal if it hadn't been for the mango sorbet. I'm having dairy withdrawal, and craving all kinds of dairy desserts. Because I haven't had honest to goodness dairy in about a month I'm totally compensating by eating way too much of non dairy treats that I don't even happen to like. In New Mexico my Mom made me a cherry pie because I wanted dessert so bad. Mind you, this pie was dairy free, not fat free. The funny thing is that I don't like fruit pies. I've always said "fruit ruins dessert" don't try to church-up my desserts by adding healthy ingredients. I like my baked goods completely fattening thank you very much. I also do not care for sorbet all that much and actually don't really like mango much either. So why did I eat so much of it tonight???

I also didn't make it to WW. My husband had an appointment at the same time as tonights meeting, so I stayed home with the boy. I guess I will go tomorrow night.

So on to the rest of my goals that I did not accomplish:

I didn't drink 8 glasses of water, only got around to 3.

I didn't straighten my hair. The boy didn't nap for as long as I had hoped. Curly hair won.

What I did accomplish is:

I did only drink 2 glasses of soda... even if they were 2 rather large glasses.

I did track everything I eat.

Goals for tomorrow:

Track everything!!!!!!!

Weigh in at WW

Drink 8 glasses of water

Drink no more than 2 glasses of diet soda

Stay within my points and make smarter decisions

Clean my house

Have a nice weekend FT Mujeres!

I'm Back!!!

I'm back from New Mexico and though I already miss home, I'm happy to get my baby back on to his normal schedule. He was a party animal in NM... or more like I made him be a party animal, poor little dude was a trooper. I'd like to report that I had an amazing with my eating my first day back. But I didn't. I eat some really fattening soup that my mother in law brought over and way too much pita and hummus. I'm sort of afraid to even track the pita and hummus splurge, but I will.

I haven't gone to WW in 2 weeks. I was in NM for both Wed night meetings. So I I'm going to go tomorrow. I'm a little scared. I sure eat a lot of sopapillas, you lovely pillows of fried goodness. Hope they don't come back to haunt me at weigh-in.

So far I'm not doing so good with drinking more water. I think I need to make more specific goals for myself. So here they are:

-Drink 8 glasses of water tomorrow

-Track everything I eat

-drink no more than 2 glasses of diet soda

-Stay within my daily points allowance

-Blow out my hair

If you're wondering about the hair goal... I have naturally curly hair that I have disliked since forever. I have been wearing it straight for the last 8 years until now. I just don't have the time to straighten my hair anymore. I feel so much prettier with it straight. So thats the deal with that.

ps- I just want to say thank you to all you FT girls and your daily support and wisdom!!

The final countdown...

So tomorrow is my first weigh-in. Here's hoping for a good one! I'm not actually expecting much. Not because I haven't been following the program, I really have. But because I get a ton of points. When your breastfeeding they add like 30 extra points to your daily allowance so I'm actually eating really well. I don't feel deprived at all. Usually when I'm doing well on a diet I eat air, sawdust and splenda and I'm completely miserable. So it just doesn't seem like it would work... we will see.

So on to today: totally tracked my food and still had some points left over for an Edy's fruit bar. I'm totally addicted!! They are only 2 points so I never just eat one. Also, I eat my first meal at 11:30. Baby steps, it was better than the usual 2:00. Tomorrow I will shoot for eating breakfast before 10:30.

Tomorrow I take my son for a check up on his cow's milk allergy. I'm feeling positive, I've been doing really well excluding dairy from my diet. So, I'm just trying to practice having faith that his allergy is close to being under control.

Also, last night at like 3:00am while up with the boy I was thinking about how well I took care of myself while I was pregnant. I eat only "pregnancy friendly foods", drank tons of water, eat close to no sugar and caffeine and took my prenatal vitamins every day. Since having my son all that is out the window. Of course I no longer need to exclude tuna and brie from my diet, but there is no reason why I couldn't have kept up the rest of it. It made me realize that I need to take care of myself as well or at least close to as well as I take care of my son. So I'm adding a couple of new goals for myself to follow through on:

1. drink 8 glasses of water a day

2. take vitamins daily

3. Make my health a priority (it can't just be about being a smaller size)

Oh, and one last thing... I was day dreaming today and it occurred to me that we should be on Oprah. We could talk about how amazing our accomplishments are and how the Follow Through Club changed our lives. Then our club becomes one of Oprah's favorite things and we all get book deals. Some incentive to follow through Ladies!!

Enchiladas: Get in my mouth

So I leave for New Mexico on Thursday and I'm so excited! I'm excited to see my family and introduce my son to all of them and I'm excited to eat... eat all my favorite foods at all my favorite restaurants. I'm slightly concerned that I may blow all my points by 3:00 every day. It's going to take all my might not to pig out like I love to do. One thing that is sort of helping me not obsess over what I want to eat while home is the fact that all my favorite dishes will have to be prepared cheese free. Which in most cases kind of ruins it for me. Which is a good thing, for right now anyway. I of course will continue to track my points while home and (cross your fingers) stay within my points allowance.

About today... I had my first weigh-in and guess who's 1.4 lbs lighter??? Me! I guess it does work. I figured out that if I just continued to loose a mere 1.5 lbs per week I will be at goal of

-40lbs by my birthday in August. Hooray!!!

I'm probably going to keep my posts short and sweet for the next 12 days, but know that I am totally going to be focused on my eating while I'm home. I'll let you know all about it.

Now I have a billion and one things to do including packing for my 3 month old... it's crazy how much stuff I have to bring for him! Ah procrastination!

Finding the time

So another day done. I'm feeling like this way of eating is totally doable. Still tracking my food in my fancy app and learning a lot in the process. The only problem that I'm having is that I'm not eating my first meal until well after 1:00, usually closer to 2:00 and then I'm starving. I'm still learning how to manage my day with a newborn. After waking up multiple times throughout the night and wee hours of the morning I get up for the last time around 9:00 and feed the boy and then change the boy and dress the boy and feed the boy and then change the boy again... you get the picture. So I'm going to make it a priority to eat breakfast before 10:30.

Eating isn't the only area that I'm having time management issues. I'm finding it really hard to make time for pilates. This is the second day that I haven't been able to work out. A couple of you ladies have said that I need to be easier on myself... so I am. I have a newborn and my days are kind of crazy. I'm hoping in a month I will have a much better handle on my days and can make time for pilates then. So I will follow through on that goal in the near future. I just don't want to blog every day how I failed to exercise. That sucks, I don't want to write that and you all don't want to read that... no one likes a Debbie Downer. So daily pilates is TBD for right now or the rare night that I can squeeze it in.

Close but no cigar

Day two of following through. Well I tried anyway. Maybe not hard enough. We'll start with the good news...

I tracked all my food today and journaled it in a great WW app on my phone. It's totally helpful. I still have 10 pts left and thinking about having some sort of dessert. Yay!

On having faith, that was a little more challenging. My beautiful baby boy has a cow's milk allergy. I'm breastfeeding him I recently found out that he is allergic to the dairy in my diet. So I've stopped eating milk, cheese, butter, etc. I thought it would be hard, but honestly it's not. If I were doing it for some fad diet I'd be dying right now, dreaming of cheese. But since it's for my baby, so that it doesn't upset his GI track... it's no problem. I'm not even trying to sound selfless or anything, it's just the truth. Anyway, as hard as I try I unknowingly ate a sauce that was made with butter last night. I was really upset about it when I found out and continued to be upset today, especially when he was effected by that dairy. But I didn't let it ruin my entire day I just prayed as I fed my baby asking God to bless his meal and not let it harm his belly. That's all I can do. So maybe I only get half points on that one.

Now for the bad news...

I totally blew it on the pilates goal. I will do better tomorrow. I really wanted to change my pilates goal and make it 3 times a week instead of everyday... but that would not be following through. Anyway, I need that 45 min 7 days a week to meet my 4th goal of losing 40 pounds. Geez.

The plan...

My best friend Tereka asked me to be apart of her "Follow Through Club". Usually "clubs" aren't my bag. Mainly because I don't like sharing about myself. But I did like the idea behind it. I would rather break my leg than let someone else down, but I will let myself down and not really think twice about it. I don't often "follow through" when it only concerns me.

So on the first day of the new year I will make a commitment to myself (and because of my history of flakiness I am also sharing my commitment with my fellow club members and anyone else who happens upon my blog) to follow through in 2011 in these areas:

1. Have faith. I'm a new mom with the most amazing 2 month old and I worry about him... a lot. I don't really have a reason to worry, I just do. I need to let go of the worry and trust that God is taking care of him.

2. Eat healthier. I recently joined WW and will track everything that goes into my mouth and will stay within my points allowance.

3. Be active everyday. I hate the gym, so I will not be committing to a gym membership. However, I will do pilates for 45 minutes every day. Seriously, I hurts me to even type this.

4. Loose 40 lbs by my birthday. I can't think of a better gift.

5. Post daily. I will track my progress good or bad.

I'm hoping that by following through on these goals I will change my life in big and small ways. Most importantly I will learn to trust myself. Good luck to the other ladies and good luck to myself... I'm going to need it!